MM 10/8/15 The rest of the Lord and my crazy dogs

I came home from the hospital yesterday. The dr. thinks all the cancer was contained within my uterus, so the surgery may be all the treatment I needed. Hopefully, the path report will confirm this prognosis. I’m in a bit of pain and would appreciate your continued prayers.

Psalm 132, Arise oh Lord and return to your resting place….I am the Lord’s resting place. We’re going to take it pretty easy today. Love you all,


me vs the big C…

I appreciate your prayers and thoughts as I am dealing with the big C. I have surgery to remove my uterus (et al) tomorrow. I haven’t been notified of the time yet, but will let you all know if I am able. I’ve just begun the “cleansing” process to prepare for the surgery. (ick, ick, ick.)

Yesterday I read in Psalm 118: 6
With the Lord on my side, I do not fear. What can cancer (text reads mortals) do to me? The Lord is on my side to help me; I shall look with triumph on my enemies!

Can I get an Amen?

Love and need you all.

With you on the journey,


Hungry? Thirsty? Cancer?

Jesus promises blessedness not to the perfect, but to those who seek to be perfect. The distance between you and your goal of holiness doesn’t matter, as long as you are on the journey. Anticipating your favorite meal is almost as sweet as the eating of it; desiring it and knowing it is prepared and waiting for you when you reach home is motivation to get home quickly.

So it is with righteousness. Picture it, let nothing deter you from your goal; know you will reach it. Want it so badly you won’t settle for anything else. Try this out and see if you feel blessed.

I am blessed by all your care and prayers. I have been scheduled for surgery on October 6. The surgical oncologist will remove all my female organs, and test them to see the extent of the cancer. I’ll hear two weeks later the outcome of the biopsy. The dr. seemed very hopeful that the cancer is contained within my uterus. YAY!

In the meantime, your prayers hold me. Thank you. I hunger and thirst for righteousness and health. Amen.

The big C (again)

I’ve been quiet on my blog for a couple of weeks now. Mostly it has been because my soul had nothing of note to report. I’ve woke each morning, spent my time with the Lord and experienced a peace that is leaves me emotionally flat. This is fine with me. I always cherish my quiet, alone time with God. Often, the Lord gives me a word of encouragement that I share with you, but not so these past days.

Last Wednesday I was diagnosed with uterine cancer. After an initial drop of heart to my gut, I settled into a space where I feel absolute at peace.  Maybe it’s because I battled the demon “fear of potential death” 14 years ago when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. At that time I figured the worst cancer could do to me was kill me, and then I’d be face-to-face with Jesus, so my attitude was, ‘bring it on!.’

Maybe because I’d had such a successful defeat of cancer at that time, I assume this outcome will be the same. “A touch of cancer” is how I describe my experience 14 years ago.

Maybe I’m in denial, out of touch with my fear and worries.

I think it is the first response, but I will not try to over analyze it, I will trust the Holy Spirit to hold and guide me in this process.

Sunday, in church, I had an ah-ha moment. I realized I need to respect this cancer, not treat it with a cavalier attitude, and brush it off with a slough of my heart and hand. If God has allowed it, God will use it to teach me something. I want to submit to the instruction of cancer. I don’t want to miss the lessons of trust and obedience and patience God might have in the lesson plans.

Will you pray with me that this treatment for cancer will not be wasted in my life? That through it I will grow more into the identity of God’s beloved daughter? That God’s glory will shine through me? That Jack and I will grow closer? That I will learn to let others love me by carrying me in prayer and in practical ways?

I’m asking a lot, I guess. But I trust you.

Again, I trust what one of my literary spiritual directors, Hannah Whittal Smith, has taught me.

It is no matter who starts our trial, whether man, or devil or even our own foolish selves, if God permits it to reach us, He has by this permission made the trial His own, and will turn it for us into a chariot of love which will carry our souls to a place of blessing that we could not  have reached in any other way

With you on the journey,


8/24/15 what doesn’t make me happy

The Psalmist tells the truth: sinning does not lead to happiness. It may lead to numbing of pain, satiation of appetites, denial of reality, but not happiness. Let’s choose the happiness of delighting in God’s law of love. Can I ask you to pray for Jack and me, we are currently experiencing a very trying time.

MM 8/24/15 What doesn't make me happy from Debby Bellingham on Vimeo.