My ego’s bubble gets burst

bubbleThoughts on Mark 9:30-37

You begin some serious teaching. You secretly take your disciples on an intensive crash course on what it means for you to be the savior of the world. You tell them about your upcoming betrayal, death and resurrection. They don’t get it at all, maybe they were afraid to appear dumb so they didn’t ask for an explanation. Or maybe they were hoping that if they ignored the topic, you’d quit talking about dying. They wanted to talk about the coming of the kingdom, it’s glory and their elevated role in its institution. But given the opportunity to talk about it, they were silent. At least they had sense enough to know such discussions would not please you. Good teacher that you are, you used this moment to teach them two important lessons of the Kingdom life; one advances in the Kingdom by letting others go ahead and by honoring the powerless.

A lesson I need to be reminded of over and over again. Sure I talk about desiring the Kingdom to advance, but I find myself envious when you use other people to move it forward. I hear of the popularity of other people’s blogs and my ego begins it’s mild, but persistent outrage. Her writing isn’t any better than mine, why don’t people “like” and “share” my posts? Why can’t I write as well as her? I try to be content with being a two talent gal and not resent those who have been given five talents, but it’s hard. Such ego flares are prophetic. They remind me of just how far I am from your humility.

I remember what William Law says about such outbursts of pride in his book A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life. Basically he says that when others cause me envy, I am to pray for the other; pray that God will bless and prosper them in in the very thing that arouses my envy; pray for God to grant them happiness in regard to their writing and ministry. He says that “praying thusly will cause the devil to leave off of this temptation since it leads to greater love of the other and greater humility to the self.”

Yikes. Oh Lord, your correction bursts the inflated bubble of my ego’s need to be preferred. Grant me the grace to gratefully receive and invest the two talents you’ve given me. Bless Jennifer and Susan and Micha and all the other five talent women who use their gifts to forward your kingdom. Honor them and increase their harvest for your sake. Amen

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4 thoughts on “My ego’s bubble gets burst

  1. I think you are selling yourself short, Deb. I think you have at least three talents!:)
    How ever many you have, I love yours and wouldn’t be the daughter of God I am without them. Your audience may not be wide but it is deep.

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