from my prayer journal this morning:
Lord, I confess, there is no interest in my spirit to seek you today (or recently). I am not sure what that is about. I feel cocooned, wrapped in batting, numb to your call, and yet the enemy’s whispers are close. There is no anticipation of good when I sit with you. I want to get on with the day, only to be bored by what it holds.
I am surrounded by the tripping power of death – I cannot escape; my emotions are squeezed and captured as in a coffin; sorrow and distress hold me captive. This is how I feel today. What can be done?
The Psalmist says the answer is to call on you, Oh Lord my God, deliver me! I know that is the answer, and my only hope.
Will you save me today? So that I can describe you as gracious, just and compassionate. The key to your protection is to have a simple heart, a single-minded heart. Heart of mine, return to the simple, calm rest of belonging to the Lord.
thoughts from “taming the restless heart” by Gerald Vann.
Jesus promises peace. This seems impossible in our crazy world, and in my crazy life. How can it be? The answer: by loving Jesus beyond all else, and to desire to be one with him. A great and strong love buoys the tossed about heart. It cannot sink into despair. Peace does not come by attempting to escape the miseries of the world, we find it by doing our best to share in the miseries (as Jesus did) and thus be part of the healing.
What does this mean in terms of my little miserable life? Well, first of all, I must hang on to the love I have for Jesus. Yes, Jesus I do love you. You are good and you save me from eternal death and when I let you, you save me from daily death. Thank you.
To share in the suffering is to 1) remember God is our Father and all humankind is my family. I have a responsibility for their well-being. 2) With humility remember I am partly responsible for the suffering in the world because of my sin. 3) Accept the suffering, trusting God will bring good out again. Keep my eyes fixed on the “infinite, still point which is his unchanging love and compassion, the love and compassion in which all wounds are healed.”